2009-08-12 Americans Begin Lent, Promise To Quit Chocolate, Lose Weight For Christ :: The Enduring Vision

From Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday do Christians from all over the world, and especially in America, go prostrate in honor of Christs sacrifice by making an effort to drop a bad habit. Most popular in years past have been masturbating only three times a day, drinking only when alone or when with somebody, and flushing after every third use at least. This year, though, many Christians have gleefully found a correlation between being carb-conscious and having a guilty-conscience and have made a marriage of the two, not allowing the fact that nowhere in the Bible or even in the annals of most sect of Christianity is weight loss mentioned to stop them from squeezing into that bathing suit.

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